Building tips
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[edit] Description tips by Daemaru
Okay, I've been hearing a LOT lately that people have trouble writing descriptions. This bothers me, because one should NEVER create a room unless one knows WHY it's being created. It should be there for a reason - IE, the description.
The description does TWO basic things: - It tells the players WHY the room is there, either in the room name : Biology Class or in the description : This room sports a door constructed of once thick metals bars with a rusted out lock. Rusted chains hang from the walls, and a moldy skeleton rests on the floor. (Obviously a dungeon or jail, yes?)
-It tells players what the room looks like and possibly gives them clues to the surrounding area. See the brief description above. How would YOU feel walking into that ancient dungeon room? Creeped out by the skeleton? Or mildly deteached and taking an objective point of view? Maybe you'd laugh because 800 years ago this was YOUR dungeon, you evil youkai you... Rolling Eyes
A couple of tips for writing descriptions, and these go for anything, mobs, objects and rooms: 1. Avoid forcing players to action - instead of 'You look around and see', try 'Taking a look around the room, <this> can be seen.' This includes mention of any passage of time, which should be done with room echo programs set for the hours (in the case of a grandfather clock striking the hour or food being prepared for examples), rather than in the description.
2. Describe as much as possible. Each room has four walls, ceiling and floor, possibly windows, decor, furniture, etc. Whatever is present that is unchanging should be in the description. For mobs and objects, imagine the mob in front of you, or holding the object in your hand. What draws your eye when you look at it, and what can only be seen through further examination (special descriptions)?
3. If a player's eyes would be drawn to something, a blemish, a sign, or a gaping hole in the floor for example, there are two decent methods to point it out rather bluntly: - there is a GAPING HOLE in the floor here - there is a gaping hole in the floor here
Of course, not everything should be pointed out that bluntly. A tapestry covering a hidden passage might have something like 'a slight draft can be felt blowing from behind the tapestry.' in the description to give clues rather than saying 'As you lift the tapestry to inspect it, you notice the LARGE GAPING HOLE that is the HIDDEN PASSAGE behind it.' (which also violates the 'don't force action on players' guideline) which would lead players to use the 'search' skill to check the tapestry.
4. Color is a good way to assist with description, though, as Ryo or Torath will tell you, it should be used sparingly. Chaos colors are fine for certain things, but don't use them for everything. A gold lintel over the doorway might stand out a bit more as 'A gold lintel' for example.
5. www.dictionary.com & www.thesaurus.com - They are what they say they are, and I suggest heavy use of the latter, especially in descriptions so you don't end up repeating the same word over and over.
To use my decription above as an example: Original: This room sports a door constructed of once thick metals bars with a rusted out lock. Rusted chains hang from the walls, and a moldy skeleton rests on the floor. Revised: This room sports a door constructed of deteriorating metals bars with a rusted out lock. Verdigris-covered chains hang from the walls, and a moldy skeleton rests on the floor.
The changes add some variation and make it over-all more interesting to read.
6. Do NOT include anything that could change in the description. This means the presence of mobiles and objects that can be taken, the presence of pieces of equipment being worn on mobiles, and the repair status of an object among other things. This does NOT include things like scars, tattoos, prominent markings or features, etc. Sure they MIGHT change over time, but the likelihood of them changing any time in the near future while you're looking at it isn't very high.
